Staying in the Present(s)

Jeff and I are through one major milestone of this prenuptial season: our mothers have met. They actually partied together during my shower on Sunday. Everyone is still smiling so that is a good sign. It was a crazy weekend that I am still processing, though very slowly. I did a search on google about how to process your wedding shower but I got a site hosted in Japan and opted not to seek a solution that required me first to learn an entirely new alphabet.

So, here I sit in rainy Chicago, the internet having failed me. All I know for sure right now is that I am totally exhausted. I also have a headache bad enough to blind a buffalo. Other than that, I have no clear desires or sense of what I need or want right now. Jeff and I dropped my mom off at the airport about an hour ago and said goodbye to his mother last night. I also had the privilege of saying hello to my shrink this morning, who, while human-hued, threw me the curve ball of letting me know he read my blog entry about him. Note to self: If you don't want to talk about your blog entry paean to your therapist, maybe think twice before sending him the link. Who the hell isn't going to read a blog entry about himself?

Damn. I also didn't see coming that we'd have to analyze that I called him -- in what I refer to as "my version of affectionately"-- Dr. Crimson Nose. Everyone in the room except for me understood that type of description to be related to alcoholism. Wow. Oops. You know, I am just a nice young woman trying to manage her pre-wedding jitters with a little chronicle of the hijinks that come to pass turing these heady times. But, hell, what's therapy for if you can't learn about yourself and others and change the course. Time for a new nickname. I'll refer to my old standby, which is less cumbersome than my previous allusion to him (unconscious, of course) as a bibulous sot: Jro.

Other victories of the weekend include going more than 24 hours without making a joke of any politicians' hair (especially bangs), style, history, family, speech patterns, clothes, or glasses. I am seeing how long I can go without criticizing any of the above. I am embarking on my commitment to focus on the issues.

And I just got in touch with what I want right now. My pajamas, a blanket, a cup of tea with soy milk, and all the time in the world to lay on the couch and watch Jeopardy, John and Kate Plus 8, and to read the Sunday paper.