Shower Tips

I have now had my first wedding shower. Having attending about 37 showers in my life, one of which was my own wedding shower, I believe I have found the perfect formula for a fabulous wedding shower. Because I am benevolent and munificient and all things pure, I am sharing it with you.

1. First, you have to have fabulous friends who work really well together, who can each on her own outcook Mario Batali and Julia Childs any day of the year. (It helps with shower photos if they are stylish and adorable as our hostesses above.) One of them should have a fabulous patio that will accommodate 17-20 of your favorite females on the planet.

2. Then, you have to have even more wonderful and generous friends to bring flowers, balloons, mangos, LaCroix, paper towels, party favors, 3-month old baby daughters, presents, and LOVE aplenty.

3. Next, you have to pick a day well in advance of the actual shower when the weather will be the perfect mix of end-of-summer breezes and almost-fall smells. (That's going to be tricky for brides in certain regions of the United States of America.)

4. You must pick good music to accompany the getting-ready process the morning of the shower. I would like to suggest the Rolling Stones' Sympathy For the Devil. That's a good one because it will remind you that even though you are about to embark on something really, really girly and participate in a rite of passage that, in your previous days, you have regarded with the level of contempt and derision that only a jealous single woman can pull off, you are, and always will be, a bad ass. Yes, you still have your edge. Yes, you remember all of your feminist ideals and you want to recycle the wrapping paper on the presents and you may or may not take his last name, thank you very much for asking. Rolling Stones music is really good for denial because if those guys can pretend they aren't aging, then I can pretend that I am perfectly ready and willing to be the center of attention and take in all the delicious goodness that a bride gets at her wedding shower.

5. LET GO of any expectation that your groom will come make his "I'm the fantastic guy Christie will be marrying and sharing all these wonderful gifts with" appearance. When he shows up 45 minutes later than your "strong suggestion" time of 3:00 p.m., let him know you are sad and angry and then let go. Give him a raspberry lemon cupcake and some roasted fennel. He too has been out of his comfort zone for over 24 hours.

6. Go directly home and play with your new presents. The groom can watch. (Let him play with the knives.) Unwrap the cards and save them in your sentimental box where you are throwing all of your wedding-related tangibles and relive the moments with your groom-to-be.

7. DO NOT plan anything for the rest of the day. Plan to lay around and pick up the Sunday paper but be too stimulated and emotionally moved to actually read any words. Have the hard conversation with your groom-to-be that you will not be available to go downtown again to meet with his mother and her boyfriend for dinner. That part will be hard, but it will be essential. Stay home. Roll around in the sweetness of the day. Replay the nice things people said to you that you could hear and believe. Replay it over and over and over again. After all, how many horrible days and conversations have you replayed over and over again? Now's your chance to replay one that is good. All good. Play it every chance you get.