The Crate and Barrel website just informed me that there are 128 days until my wedding. For the mathematically challenged, that is approximatley four months. When I am thinking of how to gauge how long it will feel to get to a certain big event that is say, four months away, I ask myself what I was doing four months ago and decide if that seems long or short. When I think about what I was doing four months ago-- in March 2008-- it seems like only three weeks have passed. In those four months, the following has transpired:
1. Got engaged (nice first step before planning a wedding and getting married).
2. Attended nephew's baptism in Texas as proud God-mother.
3. Business trips in the following exotic and mysterious locales: Athens, Greece; Tallapoosa, Ga; Broomfield, Co; Horsham, Pa; Baltimore, Md.
4. Found a venue for the wedding and reception; found a dress; decided I hated it; went to buy a new one and decided I really did like the first one; found bridesmaid dresses; had fights with 2 bridesmaids; found a band; found an officiant; found lovely quartet to perform ceremony music; found photographer; started registering for gifts.
5. Bought a townhome with fiance in "up and coming" neighborhood.
6. Put my bachelorette coccoon up for sale in the worst housing market since Hoover was president.
7. Finished a huge project at work about which I will be very vague except to say that it involved a deconstruction of latent homophobia in a particular official state proceeding.
It's been the busiest and most productive 4 months of my entire life. I almost forgot to mention that I also started a regime of arm-toning exercises to prepare for the strapless dress that I will shimmy into in about four months. I can't tell you how little upper arm strength I have. Think of how Opie Taylor looked when he was out fishing with Andy Griffith. That fishing pole was stronger than his arms,which looked like they would snap if so much as a tadpole tugged at the line. Opie's arm strength is like Brutus's compared to mine. I literally can do about 1/3 of a pushup. A friend from work showed me some exercises that helped her get her "guns" for her wedding dress back in 2006. I have been doing the exercises religiously, but those damn resistance bands mock me every time I do my little routine. I did them this morning right before I got into the shower. I am supposed to do 30 seconds of each exercise, take a 30 second break and then go again.
It's not pretty.
I step on the middle of the bands with my legs hip-distance apart and then raise my arms straight out until they are shoulder height. In 30 seconds, I can do this approximately 20 times. By the 15th time I raise my arms, I am sweating and grunting. When I do it in front of the mirror, I get distracted because my face is so contorted from the sheer pain of lifting my arms. But, as I said, it's not pretty. We'll see if I can graduate to the "medium" strength band over the next four months. The "easy" yellow band has kicked my ass every time thus far so let's keep our expectations realistic.
These next 128 days, however, are not all about me and how I look and how toned my arms get. (Thank god.) I am a bride who can hardly believe she is getting married. I am over 30. I am over 33, actually. Where I come from, if you hit age 30 without being married, then you are pretty much an old maid. I am naturally pretty pessimistic. I wasn't running around with the quiet certainty that Mr. Wonderful was just around the corner. I was more likely to sulk around moping that ALL of my friends are married and life's just not fair.
And, it's true, almost all of my friends are married, and life isn't fair. But, the forces of the universe, or God, or fate or kismit or karma or whatever intervened and I met J and the rest is history. Next thing I know I am stepping on a yellow band every morning trying to tone my arms for a dress I will wear to become his wife. In 128 days.
1. Got engaged (nice first step before planning a wedding and getting married).
2. Attended nephew's baptism in Texas as proud God-mother.
3. Business trips in the following exotic and mysterious locales: Athens, Greece; Tallapoosa, Ga; Broomfield, Co; Horsham, Pa; Baltimore, Md.
4. Found a venue for the wedding and reception; found a dress; decided I hated it; went to buy a new one and decided I really did like the first one; found bridesmaid dresses; had fights with 2 bridesmaids; found a band; found an officiant; found lovely quartet to perform ceremony music; found photographer; started registering for gifts.
5. Bought a townhome with fiance in "up and coming" neighborhood.
6. Put my bachelorette coccoon up for sale in the worst housing market since Hoover was president.
7. Finished a huge project at work about which I will be very vague except to say that it involved a deconstruction of latent homophobia in a particular official state proceeding.
It's been the busiest and most productive 4 months of my entire life. I almost forgot to mention that I also started a regime of arm-toning exercises to prepare for the strapless dress that I will shimmy into in about four months. I can't tell you how little upper arm strength I have. Think of how Opie Taylor looked when he was out fishing with Andy Griffith. That fishing pole was stronger than his arms,which looked like they would snap if so much as a tadpole tugged at the line. Opie's arm strength is like Brutus's compared to mine. I literally can do about 1/3 of a pushup. A friend from work showed me some exercises that helped her get her "guns" for her wedding dress back in 2006. I have been doing the exercises religiously, but those damn resistance bands mock me every time I do my little routine. I did them this morning right before I got into the shower. I am supposed to do 30 seconds of each exercise, take a 30 second break and then go again.
It's not pretty.
I step on the middle of the bands with my legs hip-distance apart and then raise my arms straight out until they are shoulder height. In 30 seconds, I can do this approximately 20 times. By the 15th time I raise my arms, I am sweating and grunting. When I do it in front of the mirror, I get distracted because my face is so contorted from the sheer pain of lifting my arms. But, as I said, it's not pretty. We'll see if I can graduate to the "medium" strength band over the next four months. The "easy" yellow band has kicked my ass every time thus far so let's keep our expectations realistic.
These next 128 days, however, are not all about me and how I look and how toned my arms get. (Thank god.) I am a bride who can hardly believe she is getting married. I am over 30. I am over 33, actually. Where I come from, if you hit age 30 without being married, then you are pretty much an old maid. I am naturally pretty pessimistic. I wasn't running around with the quiet certainty that Mr. Wonderful was just around the corner. I was more likely to sulk around moping that ALL of my friends are married and life's just not fair.
And, it's true, almost all of my friends are married, and life isn't fair. But, the forces of the universe, or God, or fate or kismit or karma or whatever intervened and I met J and the rest is history. Next thing I know I am stepping on a yellow band every morning trying to tone my arms for a dress I will wear to become his wife. In 128 days.
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